You, dear guest, are hereby invited to Goldcobra's Pity Party.
All attendants are to show up according to their own schedule and tolerance for peoples' whining about life problems.
Time: Right now
Address: Right here
RSVP: 000-000-0000
Reason: Goldy's throat is all sore and swollen, and she's going to try and make you feel sorry for her because she sucks. She has been coughing all day, causing her throat to be irritated and dry. And autocorrect, right at this moment, is being a real jerk to not just her, but probably a lot of other people too.
Hope you have fun at the party!
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